Surreal Conversations

Whilst babysitting for our grandsons on Friday night, we were watching a documentary about crocodiles. It's aim was to demonstrate the evolutionary marvels which have allowed these creatures to be part of earth's forna for many millions of years. Without wanting to give a review or critique of the programme, it was interesting. The point of me explaining what I was watching, will, I hope, become apparent.

I have Multiple Sclerosis. It's annoying, but I cope. I happened to mention to my husband that I had pins and needles behind my thumb nail. It was more annoying than painful and as it was behind a nail, I could hardly rub it in an effort to ease it. (Not that it would have worked any way as MS pins and needles don't adhere to the normal rules of numbness!)

My husband's response was to ask why we had developed finger nails. What evolutionary purpose did they serve? (See the connection to the documentary?)

My reply? Because without finger nails, we'd never find the end of the sellotape!

I didn't intend it to be funny. It just sort of came out. An off the cuff remark that elicited not only guffaws of laughter, but an ensuing discussion about Neanderthals sitting by a fire regaling their companions with the events of the day fighting of some beast or finding a particularly good area for picking berries.

One of the group then announces they have invented sellotape. They can't think of a particular use for it, but hey, at least finger nails now have a purpose!

Yes, we were both stone cold sober!

The conversation reminded of me of an even more surreal one I'd had a few years back with a friend. Again it was instigated by a documentary we were watching (Can you see a theme developing here?) This time it was about a wildlife park. The keepers were preparing the food for the flamingos and added a dye. This was apparently to keep the flamingos pink. In the wild their colouring comes from the algi they eat. It doesn't grow in this country, therefore a dye is used.

"I wonder if cows were fed food dye, the milk would be pink?" my friend asked. A perfectly reasonable question? We Googled for answers and found none. Apparently it's not one of the questions which keep scientists awake at night.

"Perhaps the digestive system would negate the effect?" I mused.

"Wouldn't it depend how much food colouring was used?" asked my friend.

We discussed the virtues or otherwise of having animals in various hues. Farmers could register their particular colour. Would it stop rustling? Would the effects wear off in time? Would the skin as well as the hair or fur be coloured? After all isn't it true that high levels of carotene gives we humans a tinge of orange akin to a David Dickinson tan?

This went on for an inordinate length of time. And yes we were both stone cold sober.

So, I wondered whether I am strange and by association, have strange friends or whether this is a phenomenon others can relate to. Please reassure me that I do not need a clinical assessment of my mental state!

Di