I have spent the last few years, on the approach of father's day, passing cards that lined the shelves, feeling heavy of heart. Something I would never buy again. For you.
When you left us, you left broken hearts, smashed and destitute. Life was dark; a curtain drawn, deterring sunlight. We fell to our knees, grasping at hands to help us stand, but we were all too weak to lift our heads. The night was endless, daylight extinct. We spent each day wishing for the 'old days' yet yearning for the next; take away the pain. Slowly, we existed.
Weeks flowed into months and in turn, years. We found hands to hold onto, shoulders to lean on. We stood up, in anxious state and uncertainty. Will this life hammer hit again and knock us off our feet? We held onto each other, helping our sister, brother, mother. We grew stronger day by day. Letting the sunshine return to our lives lifted our hearts a little, and we were able to smile again.
These days the sun is always shining. The light that shines into my life reminds me of you ~ you were a bright light. When I think of you, I see gardens of flowers and hear beautiful music. I see love.
You left behind a legacy. You taught us all about softness of heart, kindness, forgiveness and understanding. Everyone that knew you, loved you. You were a special man. A man of true value and love for all.
When I look at our family now, I smile. In my darkest days, I never thought I would. Time passed through those 'dark days', and although I still feel a heavy heart from time to time, I know that the pain will not last. We have each other. We are a strong family.
The wind blows softly through the trees, rustling the leaves and I take time for reflection. If I listen, I can hear you. 'Be happy', you say. 'Live your life in colourful detail, be who you aspire to be. Be you, for me'.
We all have some of your blessed qualities dad, I am grateful for that. My heart is always full.
I love you dad.
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